Forgiveness

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit!

After the Divine Liturgy, when we take a short break, we will have the

Vespers service, which is actually called the Forgiveness Service.

In the past, this service was only in monasteries. Monks often lived very far

from each other, and sometimes they would not see each other on Easter evening

because of distance and It also meant that there was a danger that they might not

return alive. So the Church set up this service for the monks. If they had anything

against each other, they would ask for forgiveness. At the end of the service, they

sang the Easter hymn: Christ is risen from the dead… Strengthened by this, they

would go to the desert or caves to continue their spiritual work.

Today, this tradition continues in parish churches. Before Lent begins, we

also ask each other for forgiveness, true forgiveness from the heart. This is not

only for yourself; it protects the Church from division, separation, and confusion.

If you do not know a person well, and you have never had a conflict with them, it

is not necessary to ask forgiveness. This is not a ritual. It is a real request for

forgiveness. You look in the person’s eyes and say: Forgive me.

When you have been in the Church for a long time, it is impossible not to

have some small irritation or anger in your heart toward someone. Maybe you did

not like their clothes or the way they looked. Even for this, you can ask: Forgive

me.

Forgiveness is a great gift. It humbles us and removes pride from the heart.

People often find it very hard to ask for forgiveness. Many of us think that

forgiveness comes automatically, or we believe that we only need to forgive

someone for small wrongs. If a person commits a serious crime, we may think they

should go to prison and that the church is not their place.

But if we truly understand what the church is, we will see that it can include

people whom we might not even greet outside. Our faith is a miracle. It calls us to

go beyond ordinary social interactions. The church does not only ask us to look

each other in the eyes or to see good people, it calls us to awaken a desire to

forgive in ourselves. It asks us to forgive even those who have killed, been cruel, or

caused harm, once they feel true regret and ask for forgiveness, both spiritually and

outwardly. We must forgive wholeheartedly. Even if we do not forgive, the Lord

still forgives.

We are not good because we never make mistakes; we become good because

we learn to forgive. There is no limit to forgiveness. As the Gospel says:

“If you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if

you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your sins,” (Matthew

6:14–15).

These words are both terrifying and comforting. They are full of justice and

mercy, truth and love. Every soul should tremble at the thought that its sins might

not be forgiven, but God, in His mercy, reassures us. All sins, however great, can

be forgiven if we, in turn, forgive our neighbors. True forgiveness requires us to let

go of all anger and resentment, just as God asks.

The Lord also warns us not to be like the hypocrites, who show off their

fasting and prayers only outwardly (Matthew 6:16–18). The Pharisees, for

example, were experts in finding clever ways to follow the law outwardly, while

ignoring its spirit. They could avoid Sabbath restrictions by moving small amounts

of food from one house to another, or they could postpone paying debts in a way

that seemed lawful. However, their hearts remained far from God.

If we fast only because it is a church rule or social expectation. They do not

consider purifying of hearts from hatred, envy, pride, or greed. True fasting and

repentance are not about appearances, they are about emptying ourselves of sin and

seeking God’s grace. Fasting prepares us for spiritual life and earns us the reward

that comes from God, who sees what is hidden and rewards us openly (Matthew

6:18).

If we hold anger or resentment, our prayers and fasting cannot be fully

accepted. True fasting is not just about avoiding food, it also means guarding our

thoughts, words, and actions from evil. Saint Basil says, “Those who do not eat but

act unjustly are like the devil, who eats nothing but always sins.”

God does not want us to show off our fasting or our prayer. What matters is

the heart: sincere intention, love for others, and acts of mercy. True fasting begins

in secret, with God seeing our hearts, not our outward appearance, because “Where

your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

A body that fasts without a merciful heart is incomplete. Our daily work is

important, but our hearts and minds should reach toward eternal, heavenly

treasures, not only temporary, earthly goods.

If you want to learn true forgiveness, learn to love people and trust fully in

confession. Receive forgiveness as a gift from God. Do not see it as a one-time

psychological therapy. It is called a Sacrament, not therapy.

Brothers and sisters, a man once asked Jesus Christ: “Which commandment

is the greatest in the Law?” Jesus answered: “Love the Lord your God with all your

heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment.

The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:36-39).

God forgives a person at the moment when that person truly repents. That is

why the Church prays for someone especially when he or she comes to the priest

and confesses. Confession is not simply a list of sins; confession is the movement

and feeling of the heart. It is repentance.

However, when someone sins against us, whether that person asks for

forgiveness or not, we are still called to forgive. Forgiveness does not depend only

on the other person’s words. Forgiveness is also an act of prayer, and this part

depends on us. In the Lord’s Prayer, we ask God to forgive us as we forgive others.

This means our heart must remain open and free from hatred.

If a person does not ask for forgiveness and does not feel guilt, that is his or

her responsibility before God. But even for such a person, we pray that the Lord

will open their heart and grant them repentance and forgiveness.

When someone comes to the Church, this already shows that the process has

begun. God is walking with that person, even if we do not clearly see it.

Once, a poor man, while visiting holy places, heard about a desert monk, a

monk, who was very spiritually advanced. He decided to visit him and make his

confession. The monk welcomed him with love and told him to write his

confession on paper.

The poor man spent several days in the monastery, writing down his sins

with great sorrow before God. Once again, he gave the paper to the monk. The

monk read it carefully and said:

“Brother, you wrote too much. You keep confessing the same sins that God

has already forgiven you. You do not yet believe in the sacrament of confession. It

is enough to confess your sins once. You focus on many unnecessary details and on

other people; this is not needed. Speak only about yourself. And most importantly,

you did not say that you do not love God and that you do not love people.”

The poor man answered: “Father, how can I not love God? I left everything

for Him. I follow Him like a poor man. I believe in the Gospel. How can I not love

people? Every person who gives me even a small piece of bread helps me and

saves me from hunger. How could I put myself above them, when I have almost

nothing except what I receive from others?”

The monk replied: “Brother, you do not yet understand inner spiritual life.

You do not know your heart well and cannot understand what I mean. Read this

confession from another spiritual child of mine.”

The poor man read the paper and said aloud: “I see now that I do not truly

love God. I love those I enjoy thinking about, but how often do I think about God?

Most of my thoughts are about worldly things, about passing pleasures and sins. In

a whole day, I spend maybe one hour thinking about God. When I do, I feel tired

and forced. But if I hear news, I pay full attention. When I read the Gospel or holy

books, I forget them quickly. News and gossip, however, I remember for years.

This shows that I do not love God!

I want to speak with those I love. I spend long times with them, and it feels

short. But prayer feels long and hard. I want to finish quickly and return to daily

tasks. I even find excuses to leave prayer early. This shows I do not love God. If I

truly loved Him, I would always want to talk to Him, to think about Him.

I want to meet those I love. But I go to the church without joy. I cannot feel

God’s house. This shows I do not love God. Even in prayer, my thoughts are

elsewhere. I forget if I prayed in the morning or evening. Even the time I set for

prayer, I do not give fully to God.

If we love someone, we want to do what they want. God said: ‘Whoever

loves me will keep my commandments.’ If I loved God, I would know His

commandments and try to follow them. But now, I cannot even answer which

commandments are His. When I must choose between God’s will and my own

sinful desires, most of the time I follow my desires. This shows that I do not love

God.”

About loving other people, I studied myself and my life, and I realized that I

do not really love anyone except myself. When we love someone, we see only

good in them. But I see bad things in people, I see evil and their sins. I only notice

goodness and worth in myself. This means I do not love people.

When we love someone, we excuse their actions. But I judge everyone

around me as unworthy. This means I do not love people. When we love, we

forgive easily. But I cannot forget hurt, sometimes for my whole life. This shows

that there is no real love in me.

The Bible says: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who

weep” (Romans 12:15). But when I look at my heart, I see that I am not happy for

others’ good and their happiness. I am indifferent. Worse, when people suffer, I

seem to feel sorry on the outside, but inside I feel bad joy.

This shows me that I do not love people. There is nothing pure in me. My

faith is only external.

I am full of pride. In my heart, I put myself above everyone around me. I

think I am special. I made an idol of myself, and I only honor it. I do not read the

Bible and the works of the saints to follow them, but to show others that I know

about holy books. If I meet a person of the world, I am afraid to say I believe, so

they will not laugh at me or call me a fanatic.

Because of this, I know I am a person who does not love God, who hates

people, does not believe in holiness, and is full of pride and evil.

The poor man said with fear, “Father, I really repented my sins, but I cannot

see them in my heart. What can I do to love God?”

The elder monk answered: “All my life I try to love God. This gift comes

from God’s grace. I can give you only a few pieces of advice. Do you know what a

magnifying glass does? It gathers sunlight in one point. If you point it at a tree, it

will slowly burn. Do the same in your heart. Keep the name of Jesus in your heart.

Think about God’s mercy. Think that every day of your life is a gift from God.

Love comes from thankfulness.

Every day, read the Gospel, not just to know it, but to follow it. Every

evening, think about your day: what sin you defeated, what commandment you

followed.

The best gift we can give to each other is forgiveness. Each person gives

what his soul is able to give. A generous heart can forgive more. The greater the

soul, the greater the forgiveness. Christ Himself showed us this.

In the Gospel, we read about a Roman centurion. He was not a Jew. He was

born in paganism and did not know the true God. He had no light of divine

knowledge and knew nothing about Christ’s divinity. But when his servant became

very sick and was close to death, he came to Jesus with deep humility and strong

faith.

He said, “Lord, I am not worthy that You should come under my roof. Only

say the word, and my servant will be healed” (Matthew 8:8).

Jesus was amazed at his faith and answered, “Go; let it be done for you as

you have believed” (Matthew 8:13). And at that very moment, the servant was

healed.

This foreign man received mercy immediately because he asked with

humility and true faith.

But we, who are Christians, who belong to the Church and know Christ,

often ask God for many things and do not receive them. Why? Is God not our

Father? Does He not listen? Of course He listens. The problem is that we often do

not know what to ask and how to ask?

Saint John Chrysostom teaches that we must ask God only for what is truly

good and useful for our salvation. Sometimes we think something is good for us,

but in reality it can harm us. Like a sick person who wants sweet food that makes

his illness worse, we sometimes ask God for things that are not good for our souls.

There is an old story, mythology about a king who loved gold too much. He asked

God that everything he touched would turn into gold. God warned him, but the

king insisted. Finally, his wish was granted. At first he was happy. But soon he

discovered that even his food and water turned into gold. He could not eat or drink.

In the end, he suffered greatly because he did not know what he was asking.

In the same way, we often ask God for glory, wealth, honor, and success. But

these things can destroy our peace and damage our souls.

So what should we ask for?

We should ask for forgiveness of our sins. We should ask for a pure heart.

We should ask for peace in the Church, love for our enemies, true repentance, and

a good answer before Christ at His Second Coming.

Above all, we should ask for the Kingdom of God. Jesus said, “Seek first the

Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you” (Luke 12:31).

The Kingdom of Heaven is the greatest gift. Christ came down from heaven,

became man, suffered, died, and rose again to open the way for us. Through

repentance and confession, we can receive this gift.

Forgiveness is the door to the Kingdom. When we forgive others, we

become like Christ. When we repent, we are made new.

If we ask with humility, faith, and a sincere heart, God will hear us. And the

greatest thing we can ask—and give—is forgiveness.

If you want to love people, never judge them. Remember that everyone has

hidden goodness. Say: ‘No matter who this person is, they are better than me.’

Show mercy secretly to your enemies, and always pray: ‘Lord, give me the

strength to love others as I loved sin before.’”

I will conclude with the words that the Apostle Paul left to us in his Epistle

to the Ephesians: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other,

just as in Christ God forgave you” (4:32). Amen!